Wishing You All the Best in Your Future Coursework!!!

Thank you so much to my wonderful online colleagues - your discussion and blog posts/comments have been very instrumental in my learning these past eight weeks!  I love our diversity and unique perspectives, but we all share a common passion and connection in our commitment to children!  Our collaboration during this course has taught me to look outside myself and acknowledge others' perspectives, and I really appreciate you sharing your perspectives with me.  It is humbling to realize that our way of being and doing is not the only way ... as Ms. Louise Derman-Sparks once said, "There are many ways to be human."  I have such high hopes that our learning in this coursework has influenced us all to be more sensitive, mindful and respectful communicators.  I know I have grown so much in my ability to set aside my biases and cultural influences to see outside myself more - and much of this is due to your influences.  Thank you!
I can't believe we are finally moving on to our specializations!  I am hoping many of you will be in my Teaching Adults in the Early Childhood Field courses :).  I hope those of you who are moving on to the other specializations will not mind if I keep peeking at your Blog once in awhile!  You all inspire me to be the best early childhood professional I can be.  Thank you so much and best wishes on your future studies!!!  If I can ever be of assistance to you - please feel free to contact me!

-Collett
email: curtis.collett91@gmail.com
Work Phone: 435-688-5600

Blog Week 6: Group Adjourning Phase Experience

            When I think of the different aspects of the groups that are hardest to leave, it isn’t necessarily those that are the top performing groups that are hard to adjourn, but those groups in which I have formed deep personal relationships with those I associate with.  The group that was the hardest for me to leave was my employees and close customers from my scrapbook retail store.  We had developed very deep personal bonds as we scrapbooked our memories together, sharing aspects of our lives that were the most meaningful to us.  We laughed together, cried together, and supported each other through some very difficult times.  The retail market was slowing down due to the economy recession, and my family had the opportunity to move back to my hometown where we had very good job opportunities for my husband and I.  I sold as much inventory from my store as I could, and had one last all-night scrapbook crop to say goodbye to my employees and customers.  Although it was heart wrenching to say goodbye and move to a new town, I still keep in touch with many of these close friends through Facebook, text, and telephone.

            Although I have met some wonderful early childhood colleagues through my Walden experience, and I have learned so much from these amazing professionals, I have not had the opportunity to get to know them on a deeper personal level.   I think online coursework is at a disadvantage as far as really being able to relate to a fellow student, because we are so limited in what we learn about each other.  Our discussions and blog responses are over the course of days rather than in the moment and in-person where we could better bounce ideas off each other and really collaborate on a deeper level.  Still, I am learning a great deal from the diverse group I am associating with through my coursework, and I expect that I will continue to contact and collaborate with several of my Walden colleagues once our graduate studies are over.

            The adjourning stage is an essential part of teamwork because it gives participants the opportunity to capture the successes and learning opportunities from the project.  It also gives a chance for participants to have closure.  With my scrapbook store closing, a huge part of my life was ending and I needed that final celebration as a way to feel like those years of my life contributed positively to others.  I am now able to look back on that experience with great fondness, because I made so many lifetime friends and was able to have such wonderful memories.  

Overcoming Conflict using Nonviolent Communication and Gerber's 3R's

Week 5 Blog Assignment: Overcoming conflict

We were asked to share about a conflict we are currently experiencing at work and what strategies we have learned this week that might help manage or resolve the conflict. 

I am not personally having a conflict with my supervisor or coworker, but I have had the opportunity to coach one of my employees (I will call her Ann) through a conflict with her co-teacher (I will call her Sally) this week using some of the NVC and 3R’s concepts.  Ann came to me with a frustration that her co-teacher, Sally, was acting very overwhelmed in the classroom and has been “short” with her.  Ann had asked Sally to have a discussion about a classroom concern, but Sally abruptly told Ann that she did not have the time to discuss the concern with her and they would need to talk about it later.  Ann thought the concern was important and needed to be addressed immediately.

First, I asked Ann to assume positive intent of Sally and look at things through Sally’s perspective (her “motivation for action”).  I had Ann clarify what she felt could have motivated Sally to be “short” with her in the moment, rather than jump to the conclusion that Sally was frustrated or mad at Ann.  Ann acknowledged that Sally was busy trying to get lunch out for the children and that Sally was indeed too busy to talk at that moment.  Knowing both Sally and Ann’s personalities, I understand Sally to be a very caring coworker who does not brush off others.  She is usually very receptive to the needs of others, but in that moment, the children needed to have lunch and it was not the time to discuss a concern in the classroom.  Therefore, I suggested to Ann that when Sally appears to be overwhelmed, she could ask Sally, “How can I help you?”  I also suggested that Ann and Sally take the time to share with each other their priorities for the day or during particular moments, so they can better support one another.

Later that day, Sally came in my office and told me how much she appreciated whatever I had said to Ann earlier that day, because Ann was asking Sally how she could help her and they were able to have a very respectful discussion on what each other’s priorities are.  I checked in separately with both Sally and Ann later in the week, and they have been able to maintain a very productive and mutually supportive work relationship. 

Intermountain Healthcare, the organization I work for, has very high expectations for employees to live by “Healing Commitments” that are very similar to concepts of Nonviolent Communication and Gerber’s 3R’s.  These relationship commitments include:

            1. I will help you feel safe, welcome and at ease.

            2. I will treat you with respect and compassion.

            3. I will take responsibility to solve problems.

            4. I will assume good intent.

            5. I will work as a team.

            6. I will keep you informed and involved.

            7. I will do my best at all times and look for ways to do better.

These commitments have helped our Child Development Center team exhibit very high standards in terms of how we treat our coworkers, families and children.  Sometimes, as in the case of Ann and Sally, we have hiccups that need to be addressed, but these are usually minor and can be resolved by being mindful of others’ perspectives and in listening to their “human needs” as well as communicating our own needs and perspectives.

My Communication Skills

This week we were asked to take three assessments that measured our personal communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness and listening style.  In addition, we were asked to have two others take the same assessments regarding their perceptions of our communication ability.  I chose my husband, James, and my work colleague, Mindy, to evaluate my communication using the same measuring tools.  I was surprised and pleased to learn that James and Mindy scored me very similar to how I perceive myself in all areas.  Their scores indicate that my generalized communication skills are consistent in my work and home environments.  However, consistency or a particular style may not always be what is needed to be a competent communicator.  Communication is so dynamic and fluid based on contextual situations and relationships that it is hard to pinpoint an exact preferred personal style.  Rather, O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) state, “Competent communication is about figuring out the most effective and appropriate way of interacting in a given situation” (pp. 116-117).

I know that I am not the exact same person at work as I am at home.  I communicate differently in different situations.  In my Listening Styles Profile, I scored as being “people-oriented,” which is where I figured I would be.  However, as I read the descriptions of the other listening styles, I also realized that aspects of all listening styles would be beneficial and appropriate in different contexts.  O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) state, “While some people show a clear preference for one style over another, about 40 percent of people score high on two or more listening styles, adapting their listening styles to different situations” (p. 161).  This insight has caused me to want to increase my action-oriented style as an early childhood leader, because I spend a lot of time in my workday listening to employee’s personal relationship issues and concerns rather than getting other important tasks accomplished.  I feel that in order to keep professional meetings on-task, I need to set better time parameters and outline a plan of action.

My husband, James, scored me slightly higher on my verbal aggression than I perceive myself or my work colleague scored me.  I realize that I am much more unfiltered around my husband and probably express my anger and frustration to him and my family more than I would in a work context where I am more guarded and professional.  I find myself being more thoughtful before speaking in my work context.  While I never want to intentionally hurt the ones I love the most, I find myself venting my anger more quickly and frequently around my family than with my colleagues and friends.  I would like to actually be more in the “Low Level” of aggressiveness with my family, being respectful of their viewpoints while persuading gently and with great compassion and love.

Resources

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. Boston, MA:

Bedford/St. Martin’s.