Wishing You All the Best in Your Future Coursework!!!

Thank you so much to my wonderful online colleagues - your discussion and blog posts/comments have been very instrumental in my learning these past eight weeks!  I love our diversity and unique perspectives, but we all share a common passion and connection in our commitment to children!  Our collaboration during this course has taught me to look outside myself and acknowledge others' perspectives, and I really appreciate you sharing your perspectives with me.  It is humbling to realize that our way of being and doing is not the only way ... as Ms. Louise Derman-Sparks once said, "There are many ways to be human."  I have such high hopes that our learning in this coursework has influenced us all to be more sensitive, mindful and respectful communicators.  I know I have grown so much in my ability to set aside my biases and cultural influences to see outside myself more - and much of this is due to your influences.  Thank you!
I can't believe we are finally moving on to our specializations!  I am hoping many of you will be in my Teaching Adults in the Early Childhood Field courses :).  I hope those of you who are moving on to the other specializations will not mind if I keep peeking at your Blog once in awhile!  You all inspire me to be the best early childhood professional I can be.  Thank you so much and best wishes on your future studies!!!  If I can ever be of assistance to you - please feel free to contact me!

-Collett
email: curtis.collett91@gmail.com
Work Phone: 435-688-5600

Blog Week 6: Group Adjourning Phase Experience

            When I think of the different aspects of the groups that are hardest to leave, it isn’t necessarily those that are the top performing groups that are hard to adjourn, but those groups in which I have formed deep personal relationships with those I associate with.  The group that was the hardest for me to leave was my employees and close customers from my scrapbook retail store.  We had developed very deep personal bonds as we scrapbooked our memories together, sharing aspects of our lives that were the most meaningful to us.  We laughed together, cried together, and supported each other through some very difficult times.  The retail market was slowing down due to the economy recession, and my family had the opportunity to move back to my hometown where we had very good job opportunities for my husband and I.  I sold as much inventory from my store as I could, and had one last all-night scrapbook crop to say goodbye to my employees and customers.  Although it was heart wrenching to say goodbye and move to a new town, I still keep in touch with many of these close friends through Facebook, text, and telephone.

            Although I have met some wonderful early childhood colleagues through my Walden experience, and I have learned so much from these amazing professionals, I have not had the opportunity to get to know them on a deeper personal level.   I think online coursework is at a disadvantage as far as really being able to relate to a fellow student, because we are so limited in what we learn about each other.  Our discussions and blog responses are over the course of days rather than in the moment and in-person where we could better bounce ideas off each other and really collaborate on a deeper level.  Still, I am learning a great deal from the diverse group I am associating with through my coursework, and I expect that I will continue to contact and collaborate with several of my Walden colleagues once our graduate studies are over.

            The adjourning stage is an essential part of teamwork because it gives participants the opportunity to capture the successes and learning opportunities from the project.  It also gives a chance for participants to have closure.  With my scrapbook store closing, a huge part of my life was ending and I needed that final celebration as a way to feel like those years of my life contributed positively to others.  I am now able to look back on that experience with great fondness, because I made so many lifetime friends and was able to have such wonderful memories.  

Overcoming Conflict using Nonviolent Communication and Gerber's 3R's

Week 5 Blog Assignment: Overcoming conflict

We were asked to share about a conflict we are currently experiencing at work and what strategies we have learned this week that might help manage or resolve the conflict. 

I am not personally having a conflict with my supervisor or coworker, but I have had the opportunity to coach one of my employees (I will call her Ann) through a conflict with her co-teacher (I will call her Sally) this week using some of the NVC and 3R’s concepts.  Ann came to me with a frustration that her co-teacher, Sally, was acting very overwhelmed in the classroom and has been “short” with her.  Ann had asked Sally to have a discussion about a classroom concern, but Sally abruptly told Ann that she did not have the time to discuss the concern with her and they would need to talk about it later.  Ann thought the concern was important and needed to be addressed immediately.

First, I asked Ann to assume positive intent of Sally and look at things through Sally’s perspective (her “motivation for action”).  I had Ann clarify what she felt could have motivated Sally to be “short” with her in the moment, rather than jump to the conclusion that Sally was frustrated or mad at Ann.  Ann acknowledged that Sally was busy trying to get lunch out for the children and that Sally was indeed too busy to talk at that moment.  Knowing both Sally and Ann’s personalities, I understand Sally to be a very caring coworker who does not brush off others.  She is usually very receptive to the needs of others, but in that moment, the children needed to have lunch and it was not the time to discuss a concern in the classroom.  Therefore, I suggested to Ann that when Sally appears to be overwhelmed, she could ask Sally, “How can I help you?”  I also suggested that Ann and Sally take the time to share with each other their priorities for the day or during particular moments, so they can better support one another.

Later that day, Sally came in my office and told me how much she appreciated whatever I had said to Ann earlier that day, because Ann was asking Sally how she could help her and they were able to have a very respectful discussion on what each other’s priorities are.  I checked in separately with both Sally and Ann later in the week, and they have been able to maintain a very productive and mutually supportive work relationship. 

Intermountain Healthcare, the organization I work for, has very high expectations for employees to live by “Healing Commitments” that are very similar to concepts of Nonviolent Communication and Gerber’s 3R’s.  These relationship commitments include:

            1. I will help you feel safe, welcome and at ease.

            2. I will treat you with respect and compassion.

            3. I will take responsibility to solve problems.

            4. I will assume good intent.

            5. I will work as a team.

            6. I will keep you informed and involved.

            7. I will do my best at all times and look for ways to do better.

These commitments have helped our Child Development Center team exhibit very high standards in terms of how we treat our coworkers, families and children.  Sometimes, as in the case of Ann and Sally, we have hiccups that need to be addressed, but these are usually minor and can be resolved by being mindful of others’ perspectives and in listening to their “human needs” as well as communicating our own needs and perspectives.

My Communication Skills

This week we were asked to take three assessments that measured our personal communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness and listening style.  In addition, we were asked to have two others take the same assessments regarding their perceptions of our communication ability.  I chose my husband, James, and my work colleague, Mindy, to evaluate my communication using the same measuring tools.  I was surprised and pleased to learn that James and Mindy scored me very similar to how I perceive myself in all areas.  Their scores indicate that my generalized communication skills are consistent in my work and home environments.  However, consistency or a particular style may not always be what is needed to be a competent communicator.  Communication is so dynamic and fluid based on contextual situations and relationships that it is hard to pinpoint an exact preferred personal style.  Rather, O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) state, “Competent communication is about figuring out the most effective and appropriate way of interacting in a given situation” (pp. 116-117).

I know that I am not the exact same person at work as I am at home.  I communicate differently in different situations.  In my Listening Styles Profile, I scored as being “people-oriented,” which is where I figured I would be.  However, as I read the descriptions of the other listening styles, I also realized that aspects of all listening styles would be beneficial and appropriate in different contexts.  O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) state, “While some people show a clear preference for one style over another, about 40 percent of people score high on two or more listening styles, adapting their listening styles to different situations” (p. 161).  This insight has caused me to want to increase my action-oriented style as an early childhood leader, because I spend a lot of time in my workday listening to employee’s personal relationship issues and concerns rather than getting other important tasks accomplished.  I feel that in order to keep professional meetings on-task, I need to set better time parameters and outline a plan of action.

My husband, James, scored me slightly higher on my verbal aggression than I perceive myself or my work colleague scored me.  I realize that I am much more unfiltered around my husband and probably express my anger and frustration to him and my family more than I would in a work context where I am more guarded and professional.  I find myself being more thoughtful before speaking in my work context.  While I never want to intentionally hurt the ones I love the most, I find myself venting my anger more quickly and frequently around my family than with my colleagues and friends.  I would like to actually be more in the “Low Level” of aggressiveness with my family, being respectful of their viewpoints while persuading gently and with great compassion and love.

Resources

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. Boston, MA:

Bedford/St. Martin’s.

My Communication With Others From Different Cultures

WK3 Blog Assignment: My Communication With Others From Different Cultures

            I do find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures because I want to be culturally sensitive and do not wish to do anything that may offend them.  I feel I treat all people respectfully and with equal consideration, but my language and behavior may be different depending on whom I am talking to.  For example, in my religion, we have a lot of cultural words (jargon) and behaviors that may not be understood by others of different religions.  I try to be sensitive to others when explaining things about my religion, because they may not understand this jargon.  Likewise, I am much more casual in my relationships with my family and friends (joking, teasing, being sarcastic) than I am in my professional life. 

            I do not believe people can communicate with every person the same way because both culture and communication are multi-faceted and dynamic.  Communication depends on situational and relationship contexts.  It has different functions and perspectives, and relies on participants having some sort of a shared code of understanding.  O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) teach, “A successful communicator needs to develop the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not in a variety of cultures and situations” (p. 17), and “adjust their behavior to suit particular individuals and situations” (p. 16).

            There are several strategies that I have learned this week to help me communicate more effectively with people of diverse groups and cultures:

1. Acknowledge that every person has a different reality than I do.  My way may not always be the “right” or only way to do something.  Just because someone does something differently than I do, doesn’t mean they don’t have their cultural reasons for doing so (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

2.  One should try to withhold judgment of others based on first impressions long enough to gain a deeper understanding of who they are (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

3.  “Don’t expect that just because you know a person’s culture you can predict his or her behavior.  Few cultural patterns are rigid or apply to all members of a culture” (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p. 81). 

4.  Above all, being mindful of our own attitudes, behaviors and biases so we do not unconsciously or consciously offend others (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p.88).

Resources

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse

families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. Boston, MA:

Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Non-Verbal Communication - No Sound Television Program Assignment

The television show that I chose to watch without sound was The Big Bang Theory (Episode 13, Season 7).  I have never watched this show before, but several girls at work are addicted to it, so I thought I’d give it a try.

What did I think the characters’ relationships are based on the way in which they are non-verbally communicating?  What are they feeling based on the nonverbal behavior I observed?

The show opened with a blond girl (I later learned was named Penny) and a man with glasses (Lenard) talking and the girl got down on one knee and said something that looked like, “Will you marry me?”  I assumed they were dating and she was proposing to him.  He looked a little shocked and pulled her over to the couch and they talked.  After the discussion, they hugged.  He did not indicate that he said yes to her proposal (by nodding), but the girl did smile so she didn’t seem upset.

The next scene showed Lenard with another man (Shelton).  They look like they are arguing back and forth.  Shelton is following him and Lenard shakes his head and points for Shelton to stay (like signaling a dog).  Shelton sits down on the stairs and hangs his head (like he is sad).  A later scene shows goes back to Shelton sitting on the stairs and the blond lady (Penny) walks past him with a box of something in her hands.  She turns and says something to Shelton, then leaves again.  She stops, goes back to Shelton and says something again, and he looks happy.  She then pats her leg several times and speaks to him again (like someone calling a dog to come).  Shelton looks up, smiles, and leaves with her (skipping).  He seems excited.  A later scene shows Penny and Shelton in a car together talking back and forth, and then a final scene in Penny’s apartment where Lenard walks in on them doing Yoga.  He looks confused and then starts to talk to Penny.  They look like they are arguing back and forth (eyebrows stern, folding arms, gesturing, close proximity).  After talking for while, they both relax and then hug.

Another scene in the program showed a man who is standing behind the register counter at a comic book store (Stewart).  A female, who I guess is a customer, walks in and shows him a comic book.  She is frowning and is shaking her head at something Stewart says.  He dumps out a bunch of pill bottles in front of her.  Is he trading medication for the comic book?  A later scene shows the comic book man, Stewart, and this blond lady in another comic book store.  They talk to another guy (who is acting like the owner – going behind the register).  He is smiling and nodding, bringing out a comic book to show the lady.  She looks mad and yells at him, then walks away.  Stewart follows her.  I am guessing that Stewart did not have the comic book the customer wanted so he took her to the other place and that owner wanted way too much money.

Another scene shows a science lab with 4 people talking (3 men and a dark-haired woman).  The tall, bushy bearded man (Bert) gives the woman something.  She raises her eyebrows and looks shocked.  Bert leaves and the other two men say something to her.  She glares at them and shakes her head.  I’m guessing Bert likes this woman and they are telling her this.  Another scene shows the dark-haired woman talking to the bushy beard man on the phone.  She smiles, hangs up, and then looks confused.  A later scene shows the three science guys in a car together.  The Bushy beard guy looks happy and excited – possibly singing and banging his hand on the dash board.  The two other men are slouched down and frowning.  They look either annoyed or bored.

After watching the program with the sound turned on, I found out that Penny and Lenard were dating, but Penny was unhappy with the direction her life was going.  She proposed to Lenard because she needed a change, but ended up quitting her job at the Cheesecake factory so she could pursue her acting career.  Lenard was nervous about her making such a huge life change, but wanted to be supportive.

Shelton was sulking because his HR person forced him to take some vacation days off and he was bored.  He was trying to go to work with Lenard, who told him to stay!  Penny offered to let him run errands with her, and he was happy to do something.  He did Yoga with Penny because he thought she asked him if he wanted to do Yoda.  J.

The blond customer did come into Stewart’s store to purchase a new comic book to replace her boyfriend’s comic book that she had ruined with a curling iron.  He said he didn’t have it.  She said she was a pharmaceutical rep and could get him drugs.  He asked if she had any of the ones he already had.  Stewart did not have it, so he took her to another store.  I assumed the other store owner was friendly because he was smiling, but he was actually making snide and rude comments about Stewart, so when he showed the comic book to the customer, she told him that she wouldn’t buy it because he was being a bully.  (She later went back and bought it when Stewart wasn’t around).

The bushy haired science guy did like the girl, and he asked her out to the rock and mineral show.  She didn’t understand that he was flirting with her, so she called to tell him that she had a boyfriend.  The two other guys ended up being tricked into going to the rock show with Bert.  They did not enjoy it.

Many of my assumptions were correct from reading the body language of the actors, however, they would have been more correct if it had been a show I watched more often.  Comedies are usually a lot more animated in body language, and I think it would be much harder to determine the plot of a drama (more real life situations) because there seems to be a lot more details that are verbally communicated.  The blond customer and Stewart acted like they knew each other well, because she stood up for him in front of the other comic book store owner, but I don’t know how they knew each other.  It is probably a lot funnier for someone who knows the backstory to all the relationships.  It is apparent that all these people are interconnected somehow.  This assignment shows how important both verbal and non-verbal communication are to getting the full message.  I know when I have tried to just listen to a television program before, the programs that are more informational (such as news), I am able to follow, but comedies require you to watch the non-verbal in order to get the full punch-line (like when the actors signaled to Shelton like a dog).