My Communication With Others From Different Cultures

WK3 Blog Assignment: My Communication With Others From Different Cultures

            I do find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures because I want to be culturally sensitive and do not wish to do anything that may offend them.  I feel I treat all people respectfully and with equal consideration, but my language and behavior may be different depending on whom I am talking to.  For example, in my religion, we have a lot of cultural words (jargon) and behaviors that may not be understood by others of different religions.  I try to be sensitive to others when explaining things about my religion, because they may not understand this jargon.  Likewise, I am much more casual in my relationships with my family and friends (joking, teasing, being sarcastic) than I am in my professional life. 

            I do not believe people can communicate with every person the same way because both culture and communication are multi-faceted and dynamic.  Communication depends on situational and relationship contexts.  It has different functions and perspectives, and relies on participants having some sort of a shared code of understanding.  O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) teach, “A successful communicator needs to develop the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not in a variety of cultures and situations” (p. 17), and “adjust their behavior to suit particular individuals and situations” (p. 16).

            There are several strategies that I have learned this week to help me communicate more effectively with people of diverse groups and cultures:

1. Acknowledge that every person has a different reality than I do.  My way may not always be the “right” or only way to do something.  Just because someone does something differently than I do, doesn’t mean they don’t have their cultural reasons for doing so (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

2.  One should try to withhold judgment of others based on first impressions long enough to gain a deeper understanding of who they are (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

3.  “Don’t expect that just because you know a person’s culture you can predict his or her behavior.  Few cultural patterns are rigid or apply to all members of a culture” (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p. 81). 

4.  Above all, being mindful of our own attitudes, behaviors and biases so we do not unconsciously or consciously offend others (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p.88).

Resources

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse

families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. Boston, MA:

Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Non-Verbal Communication - No Sound Television Program Assignment

The television show that I chose to watch without sound was The Big Bang Theory (Episode 13, Season 7).  I have never watched this show before, but several girls at work are addicted to it, so I thought I’d give it a try.

What did I think the characters’ relationships are based on the way in which they are non-verbally communicating?  What are they feeling based on the nonverbal behavior I observed?

The show opened with a blond girl (I later learned was named Penny) and a man with glasses (Lenard) talking and the girl got down on one knee and said something that looked like, “Will you marry me?”  I assumed they were dating and she was proposing to him.  He looked a little shocked and pulled her over to the couch and they talked.  After the discussion, they hugged.  He did not indicate that he said yes to her proposal (by nodding), but the girl did smile so she didn’t seem upset.

The next scene showed Lenard with another man (Shelton).  They look like they are arguing back and forth.  Shelton is following him and Lenard shakes his head and points for Shelton to stay (like signaling a dog).  Shelton sits down on the stairs and hangs his head (like he is sad).  A later scene shows goes back to Shelton sitting on the stairs and the blond lady (Penny) walks past him with a box of something in her hands.  She turns and says something to Shelton, then leaves again.  She stops, goes back to Shelton and says something again, and he looks happy.  She then pats her leg several times and speaks to him again (like someone calling a dog to come).  Shelton looks up, smiles, and leaves with her (skipping).  He seems excited.  A later scene shows Penny and Shelton in a car together talking back and forth, and then a final scene in Penny’s apartment where Lenard walks in on them doing Yoga.  He looks confused and then starts to talk to Penny.  They look like they are arguing back and forth (eyebrows stern, folding arms, gesturing, close proximity).  After talking for while, they both relax and then hug.

Another scene in the program showed a man who is standing behind the register counter at a comic book store (Stewart).  A female, who I guess is a customer, walks in and shows him a comic book.  She is frowning and is shaking her head at something Stewart says.  He dumps out a bunch of pill bottles in front of her.  Is he trading medication for the comic book?  A later scene shows the comic book man, Stewart, and this blond lady in another comic book store.  They talk to another guy (who is acting like the owner – going behind the register).  He is smiling and nodding, bringing out a comic book to show the lady.  She looks mad and yells at him, then walks away.  Stewart follows her.  I am guessing that Stewart did not have the comic book the customer wanted so he took her to the other place and that owner wanted way too much money.

Another scene shows a science lab with 4 people talking (3 men and a dark-haired woman).  The tall, bushy bearded man (Bert) gives the woman something.  She raises her eyebrows and looks shocked.  Bert leaves and the other two men say something to her.  She glares at them and shakes her head.  I’m guessing Bert likes this woman and they are telling her this.  Another scene shows the dark-haired woman talking to the bushy beard man on the phone.  She smiles, hangs up, and then looks confused.  A later scene shows the three science guys in a car together.  The Bushy beard guy looks happy and excited – possibly singing and banging his hand on the dash board.  The two other men are slouched down and frowning.  They look either annoyed or bored.

After watching the program with the sound turned on, I found out that Penny and Lenard were dating, but Penny was unhappy with the direction her life was going.  She proposed to Lenard because she needed a change, but ended up quitting her job at the Cheesecake factory so she could pursue her acting career.  Lenard was nervous about her making such a huge life change, but wanted to be supportive.

Shelton was sulking because his HR person forced him to take some vacation days off and he was bored.  He was trying to go to work with Lenard, who told him to stay!  Penny offered to let him run errands with her, and he was happy to do something.  He did Yoga with Penny because he thought she asked him if he wanted to do Yoda.  J.

The blond customer did come into Stewart’s store to purchase a new comic book to replace her boyfriend’s comic book that she had ruined with a curling iron.  He said he didn’t have it.  She said she was a pharmaceutical rep and could get him drugs.  He asked if she had any of the ones he already had.  Stewart did not have it, so he took her to another store.  I assumed the other store owner was friendly because he was smiling, but he was actually making snide and rude comments about Stewart, so when he showed the comic book to the customer, she told him that she wouldn’t buy it because he was being a bully.  (She later went back and bought it when Stewart wasn’t around).

The bushy haired science guy did like the girl, and he asked her out to the rock and mineral show.  She didn’t understand that he was flirting with her, so she called to tell him that she had a boyfriend.  The two other guys ended up being tricked into going to the rock show with Bert.  They did not enjoy it.

Many of my assumptions were correct from reading the body language of the actors, however, they would have been more correct if it had been a show I watched more often.  Comedies are usually a lot more animated in body language, and I think it would be much harder to determine the plot of a drama (more real life situations) because there seems to be a lot more details that are verbally communicated.  The blond customer and Stewart acted like they knew each other well, because she stood up for him in front of the other comic book store owner, but I don’t know how they knew each other.  It is probably a lot funnier for someone who knows the backstory to all the relationships.  It is apparent that all these people are interconnected somehow.  This assignment shows how important both verbal and non-verbal communication are to getting the full message.  I know when I have tried to just listen to a television program before, the programs that are more informational (such as news), I am able to follow, but comedies require you to watch the non-verbal in order to get the full punch-line (like when the actors signaled to Shelton like a dog).

A Person Who Demonstrates Competent Communication

Hi everyone!  I am excited to increase my communication skills with this new coursework, and to have the opportunity to collaborate with my Early Childhood Education colleagues once again!

This week we were asked to share our thoughts about someone in our life who demonstrates competent communication and the skills that make him/her effective.  I immediately thought of my boss, a senior leader in a large hospital organization.  Vicki is the regional Director of Human Resources and is highly skilled in her professional communication skills with others. 

What makes Vicki’s communication effective?

She is approachable.  She is kind and considerate of other’s thoughts and opinions.  She looks directly at you when you speak and is present in that moment as you talk.  You can feel that she values your input and she takes the time to let you speak your full message without interruptions.  She checks for understanding by reflecting back what is said, or by asking clarifying questions.  Vicki doesn’t always jump in with a solution or answer right way.  When the response requires some thought, she will let me know that she will ponder it and get back with me, then does so in a timely manner.  She thinks through her thoughts before speaking, allowing her to professionally communicate what she wants the message to be rather than having an emotional reaction to it.

Vicki has mentored me in my communication skills mainly through her example, but also in collaborating with me to develop communication talking points, especially in regards to crucial conversations with others.  I tend to speak my thought process aloud and react quickly to messages that are directed at me (many times very emotionally).  Vicki emulates the ability to think before she speaks, and therefore always comes across as professional.  This is a skill I would love to master!  I have seen Vicki gracefully respond to the negative, abrasive, or disrespectful communication of others.  She always maintains her kind, respectful and professional manner.  I have come a long way in my leadership communication skills thanks to such a wonderful role model and mentor!