Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week we were asked to observe our own and other’s verbal interactions and detect examples of microaggressions, which Dr. Derald Wing Sue describe as words or actions that create feelings of uncertainty, inferiority or marginalization.  I realize that microaggressive comments are much more common than I originally thought.  Though I did not observe these comments in reference to race, I did hear two that I could easily relate with and that I have had personal experience with in the past.

Both of these two comments took place in my early childhood center work environment.  The first comment happened in response to posted scores for a recent team competition.  I overheard a female co-worker greet the week’s high scorer with: “Oh look at Miss Perfect Score!” (very snide and flippant).  Two interesting things happened as a result of this comment: The receiver apologized and felt the need to explain how hard she worked to get the score; and in response to another teacher looking started at the comment, the first co-worker realized how her comment came across and went to apologize to the receiver of the comment.  This interaction resonated deeply with me, because I have always been a self-driven high achiever who always tries to do my best in my schoolwork and job assignments.  In high school, I often had people tease me and make comments about me always having to get straight A’s.  I too have felt the need to apologize for my scores and sometimes didn’t try as hard because I didn’t want others to make fun of me.  I have a hard time with people publicly recognizing me for my achievements because I don’t want the scrutiny of others.  My husband shared a similar experience with me about his brother, who was an athlete, very popular, and extremely smart but started getting D’s and F’s because his football buddies always made fun of his A’s.  He barely graduated high school because of these negative comments towards him.

The second microaggressive comment I overheard at work was during a conversation about movies.  A group of teachers were discussing an 80’s movie and a younger teacher commented that she had never heard of it.  A coworker asked her how old she is and she said, “26.”  To which the coworker replied, “You are just a baby!”  This took place in a casual conversation with no malice intended, but the younger teacher was excluded from the continued topic of conversation.  I wonder how many times I have unintentionally excluded others from my conversations due to my view that they are too young or old.  Do they perceive this exclusion as me thinking they are not capable or that I can not associate with them on a personal level because our difference in age?  I know I have been made to feel this way at times.  

This week’s learning about microaggressions has instilled a greater awareness of my own words and actions.  I will strive harder to be more mindful and respective of others moving forward, and follow the advice of Thumper in Disney’s Bambi…

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all!”

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I asked three diverse people for their definitions of culture and diversity.  Here are their responses:

Parker (18 year old Caucasian male):

“Culture is the traits our community has at any given time.  A person’s belief at any given time.  It can change.”

“Diversity is people’s different cultures.  The different cultures that are living together.  Like the black culture, the white culture…it’s the differences between them and how they come together.”

Mindy (45 year old Caucasian female):

“Culture is anything that shapes you, anything that you are a part of or become a part of.  I think culture changes – you aren’t in a specific culture your entire life.”

“Diversity is an individual’s own uniqueness.  There is diversity in everything – not just race.”

Wajira (43 year old female Sri Lankan immigrant to the United States):

“Culture is beliefs, rituals, society, customs…like religion.  It is hard to maintain our culture in America.  We still try to maintain our culture at home and communicate with our children in our mother tongue.  Children in Sri Lanka getting westernized in our country due to international schools.”

“Diversity is to treat everybody equally and not to be racial or prejudice.  Everyone has the same color blood (red).  We need unity.”

As I reflect on these answers, it seems like everyone has their own definition of what culture is, but all are correct.  The respondents focused on surface culture, which are the things you can see, hear, taste, and touch.  It is the rituals, religion, race, and traditions.  Other aspects of culture were not mentioned such as gender, economics, employment, ideas about education/raising children, household structure & hierarchy, etc.  However, all my interviewees commented how culture changes, and how one is shaped by the culture that surrounds them.  I love how Mindy stated that “Diversity is in everything.” Every individual is unique.  Both Waji and Parker talked about people coming together and needing unity.  Waji made a powerful statement that resonated deeply with me, “Everyone has the same color blood (red).”  We are all diverse and have different cultures that influence and shape us, but we also have many similarities.

Interviewing others who are from diverse cultures has helped me understand, as Louise-Derman Sparks & Edwards (2010) said, “when we interact with someone from a different culture, we discover that the way we do things is not the only way.  How we respond to that experience will either limit or expand our understanding (and acceptance) of the idea that there are many ways to be human” (p. 55).

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J.O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children

and ourselves. Washington DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children.

My Family Culture - 3 Cultural Items I Would Choose in a Catastrophe

For this week’s coursework, we’ve been asked to respond to the following scenario:

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country.  The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees.  You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event.  However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details.  You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently.  You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you.  You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your country. 

I am assuming that my family has their basic needs met – food, clean water, shelter, safety, medical care.  These would be my first priorities.  I am also assuming that we will have basic living conditions with no access to electricity (no access to email, phone, or electronic devices – yikes!)  Thus, the three items that I would take that best represent the cultural items I hold dear would be my scriptures, family photo album, and my journal(s).

My scriptures are a huge part of my religious culture.  I find peace and comfort from the messages in them, as well as divine personal inspiration.  My relationship with my Heavenly Father, and the gospel of Jesus Christ, is central to my life.   The values and beliefs contained in the scriptures are an integral part of the way my husband and I raise our family.  In times of trial, I have always found strength from my Heavenly Father through prayer and scripture study.  Having access to these things is essential to my family’s cultural survival.  If, upon arriving, I was told that I could only have one personal item, I would keep my scriptures and rely on faith that God would provide the rest of what my family needed. 

I would also take a photo album filled with family pictures.  I would want my children to remember our family traditions, photos of our home, places we liked to visit, and especially our extended family members.  These memories would provide happy moments and help our children remember the cultural connections that we had in our previous life.

The final item that I would take with me would be a journal.  I would love to take all my previous journals, but a current journal would allow me to record our family’s journey in a new country and culture.  I would write down our family’s history from our previous life, as well as the current experiences to provide a record for future generations.  The journal would also provide paper to write letters home to other friends/family members if possible.

The insight that I gained from this assignment was a deep reflection of the cultural things that I value the most.  I had to consider what items would provide me not only my cultural connections, but also what would provide my family comfort, strength and the fortitude to begin a new life in a new country that was so different than home.  From this reflection, I concluded that with God, all things are possible.  I have been taught and have a firm belief that we are spiritual beings having an earthly experience.  If we endure this life well, all other things that matter will be given to us again…. our memories, extended and immediate family, our health, and our emotional well-being.  Thus, I will rely on the one item that will keep my spiritual self as strong as possible.  J